Notes from the side of a volcano

Daughter-Two had her final drama class of the term yesterday, which culminated in a final presentation for the parents.

Unfortunately Daughter-Two missed last week (when they rehearsed the short piece) due to the trip to Cambridge but they said not to worry, they would give her a line to say. since it was her, they said, it would be fine because she is so "flexible". Not bad for a child deemed "too autistic" to attend school for more than 4 half days a week just two years ago.

Not that she didn't add in a few extra bounces.

 

(Yes, she has had a "hair hack". I tried to suggest she was grown up enough to cope with the hairdressers but she wasn't buying that. "Noooo, nooo they have hair whisks!! Too noisy!!" I believe "hairwhisks" = blow dryers. So I had to cut it myself AGAIN. Anyway, once it has grown back a bit I will admit defeat and find a home hairdresser who can hide away any hair whisks/blow dryers).

While we waited for the show to begin, Bernard and I wandered down the nearby main shopping street - I took photos of textures and he sulked about not getting to sit down with a coffee. It's an ... interesting drag of shops. We wondered about the attraction of the drum shop for the pigeons ... until a woman arrived with their breakfast and it was explained.

 

 

How considerate of her. Wonder if the owners of the Drum Shop agree though? Then we came home and Bernard took to his bed. Seems the flu I had early in the week but managed to fight off within a few days has hit him. Well, that's his story anyway.

Meanwhile, here's what's new in store at Designer Digitals:

 

 

I always swore I wouldn't do a 4th July kit, but since I had so many USA photos to scrap:

 

There's also some freebie word art in the store here.

Bernard took Daughters-One and Two to Cambridge for the weekend so that I could work uninterrupted. I have several deadlines all bulding up at once and frankly my grip on sanity was becoming increasingly tenuous.

Taking them away for Saturday afternoon and most of Sunday will only go a short way towards balancing the books regarding "time off" - but it certainly helps. I found myself thinking, though, that this is what our lives have come to. Where "giving someone a break" means giving them the luxury of a few hours uninterrupted ... to WORK.

Being of a certain age, I remember when we were all told that, thanks to the technological revolution, we would soon all be able to work just a few hours a day. (And would have robots doing all our housework as well). It was going to be the "new leisure age".

Ha ha, what a joke that turned out to be. Now most of us work more than ever, and can never be truly "off work". Always contactable by phone or email, with no escape. And if you work from home like us, you never even leave the office. So we will need to get some more balance in our lives, I think.

It was amazing how I felt the stress lifting once they were finally gone (after an emotional departure scene from certain parties that suggested they would be away for two decades not two days). So perhaps I am allergic to them. Though in actual fact, I think I am allergic to:

BAM! Wake up Mummy, I love your bouncy bed, look it's foggy outside, have you finished your breakfast, here's your clothes, ow! ow! ow! please stop brushing my hair! It hurts! ow! ow! ow! Time to get up, yes it's late, no you can make your own breakfast, have you taken your medicine?, take the dog for a walk, just a minute I have to put the washing on, no I haven't seen your black trousers, I only just got in the bath, give me a break, I'll be out soon, I can't go yet I have to send this email,  can you scan this for me, can I have some sellotape please, where are the scissors? we are just going to the supermarket, can you do the vacuuming while we are out? can you get me some of that pasta I like? I need more coffee, why can't I go to McDonalds? no you can't have Mentos, because they are bad for your teeth, what do you want for lunch? Did you do the vaccuuming? Why not? Well, you'll have to do it now, can I have a muffin? No not till after you have had your lunch, yes I am cooking it now. Could you do the vacuuming please!! Waah waah what's that noise? No no no stop it. It's just the vaccuum, you can go to your room if you don't like it, why didn't this room get vacuumed? I did. Then why is there dog hair everywhere still? Sorry! Why are you always so grumpy with me, what is your problem? What? what? what? it't not fair, you hate me don't you, don't you? well don"t you? don't you? don't you? yes you have to come with us, no we won't be gone for long, just a minute I have to pack some water and snacks, make sure you bring a drink for yourself, can we go home now, please, it's cold, I'm tired, it's too hot, I'm bored, she's annoying me, shup, go boil your own head (don't ask), can we go now, I'm bored, I'm cold, can I have some of your water why didn't you bring your own, I told you to bring your own, do you have PE tomorrow, where are your PE shorts, did you leave them at school, have you finished that essay, well you need to do it now, yes I know you need money for the collection tomorrow, what's for dinner? yuck, I'll make myself something else, no you won't, we can't afford you to be cooking separate meals all the time, but I really hate that, I'll eat everything else all week, just this once, please, please, please, can you get me some sellotape please, where are the scissors, uh oh I've pulled the curtains down, sorry, sorry, sorry, have you started that essay yet, no I don't have time to help you with it, oh okay, is that the potatoes burning?, where is your uniform, sorry I just have to make their lunches for tomorrow, Dinner's ready!, eat up, no just sit down please and eat up, OK here you go, here's your juice, no you haven't finished yet, sit down, how's the essay going, what do you mean "you'll start it now?", into the bath, yes, I'm coming, brush your teeth, night night, can you sign this please, did you ring the insurance company, did you email the accountant?, back to bed please, I don't know where the remote is, back to bed please, YOU HAVE TO START THAT ESSAY!, back to bed please, ok time to turn off the computer, well, you should have started it sooner, just five more minutes please, I'm in the middle of something, it's really important, please!!!!, it's been ten minutes, it's going off, I don't care, OK you can have a bath, please don't leave the towels all over the floor,  I'm going to bed now, sorry why are you always so tired, you haven't even given me a hug today, turn your light off NOW!

In their absence, these have gone into the store at Designer Digitals:

 

One of Daughter-Two’s favourite books is “The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins”, and I have been thinking lately that I feel like I have 500 hats myself.

And I have been thinking about how men and women - and their hats - differ. Most men, it seems, have just a few hats. A work hat, a Daddy hat, maybe a “Thursday night at the squash club” hat. And, generally, they only wear one hat at a time.

 

In fact, when they leave for work they usually leave their Daddy hat at home and don’t even think about putting it back on again until they get home.

 

 

Women, on the other hand, have many, many hats. Off the top of my head (pun intended) I can think of my Mummy hat, cook hat, cleaner hat, secretary hat (since I handle all the paperwork), tutor hat and then my work hat. In fact, I even have two different work hats – one which is fun and quirky and another which is a little more subdued and perhaps a little dull, but which I have had for a long time and don’t want to throw out.

 

 

And, like most women, I rarely get to wear one hat for any length of time. Sometimes I’m swapping them around so fast it’s a blur. And sometimes I’m wearing two or more balanced precariously on top of each other, as I try to cook dinner, think about an email I need to send and supervise homework at the same time.

 

 

Even when I went to work in the office, I would have to take my Mummy hat with me on the train intoLondon, ready to replace the work hat at, well, the drop of a hat. And in my lunchbreak I would be making phone calls to rsvp for a child’s birthday invitation then dashing out to the supermarket to buy food for dinner and a present for the birthday party.

If men even tried to wear more than one hat at a time it would surely end in disaster. One of those hats would slip down and they would crash the metaphorical car or walk into the metaphorical lamp-post. But I wonder – are women better at multi-tasking because we are born that way or is it just because we have to and it’s just one big conspiracy against us?

 

As you can probably gather, it has been one of those weeks. I really need to clone myself.

Now you must excuse while I don another hat (the “helpful” neighbour hat) while I advise the people next door that they were mistaken in their belief that their teenager was responsible enough to be left alone in the house overnight. (If they are not apologetic enough I suspect I may need to pull out the “outraged at being kept awake till 3am hat”).

 

I leave you with the results of the precious little time I was able to wear the “digital designer” hat this week (all at Designer Digitals):

 

 

 

And there is a freebie from me this week too:

 

I am definitely a "Wellington person". It is becoming clearer and clearer our hearts and hopefully our future are there - if we can manage to co-ordinate getting Daughter-One settled, doing up the house at least a bit, selling it and not moving Daughter-Two at an awkward point in her schooling. Which probably won't be for five years. I feel tired just contemplating it.

For the North Americans reading this, Wellington is a pocket sized San Francisco with the climate of Seattle. Auckland, we were now live, has more of an LA vibe ... in a mini-sized, watered down version.

However, there are still some corners of it I like to photograph and it has its good points (beaches? proximity to our parents in Cambridge?).

I scrapped this with some new papers coming to the store this week. I think I'll be using them a lot. (you can Click on this to see larger).

It was a red letter day on Friday for Daughter-Two. Book day and disco day.

I don't know if book day is held on the same day all over the world. I can remember Daughter-One dressing up for it in England (as a witch, complete with very authentic twig broom from the local garden centre). I suspect that was in early summer, which would fit with it being in June ... which is the middle of winter here in New Zealand.

So the usual parade through the teacher's college and up to the main street of Mt Eden was cancelled due to the threat of rain. Which was a shame as it is always so cute to see them traipsing through the streets. Instead the whole school posed in the playground, then took turns parading across the stage in the school hall.

Daughter-Two was a "winter fairy". Spot the hand holding up the wand? That's her:

 

Here's the whole school:

 

And here's a blurry shot of her taking her turn across the stage:

 

Then it was back home for me, then very soon back to school to pick her up, make tea, remind Bernard that her disco started at 6pm and change her outfit.

It was a "non-fiction addiction" disco (?) so she went in her astronaut's outfit from Kennedy Space Centre.

6.10 pm rolled around and Bernard still hadn't returned with the car so we set off in the dark and the rain for school:

 

An even more hopelessly blurry shot, but it sums it up pretty well.

As soon as we arrived at the disco, she was off. Jumping and running and giggling - trying to get a photo of her at the disco was like trying to catch lightening. But I had fun trying even if half the time she had disappeared from shot by the time I pressed the shutter button:

 

 

 

And then, to top off what was turning into her best day ever, she won the "best dressed girl" award. By the end of the disco she looked like she had been at an all night rave:

 

I needed a rest after that, but she still was up at the crack of dawn the next morning.

Three new products in the store at Designer Digitals this week:

 

 

 

And some layouts (including one of Daughter-One many years ago. This week we got proof of what I always suspected since she was a toddler- she IS much brighter than either of us!)

 

Oh how I miss UK cable TV ....

And, on that note, here's the content of the letter I just sent to the CEO of SKY tv here (I was tempted to beg for him to please consider showing BBC children's and documentary channels instead of the US channels via Australia - but I needed to stay on topic) .....

 

Dear Mr Fellet,

I am writing directly to you as I believe you would wish to know about the concerns I have.

We have a delightful seven year old daughter who is a bit of a science buff. She loves nothing better than a geology or physics documentary. We wish we could access the “Discovery Kids” channel we used to watch in the UK (and dream of the BBC Science channel) so we were pleased to see that the Discovery Channel here was promoting a “Discovery Kids” programming block on weekend mornings.

Yesterday (Sunday 7^th) our daughter was watching the documentary about global warming shown at 7.30 am during the Discovery Kids block. Fortunately I was watching with her, as in the middle of the programme it went to a promo break – including a very disturbing and quite graphic promo for an upcoming show “How to spot a Serial Killer”.

It is not the first time I have noticed inappropriate placement of promos on SKY channels, but certainly the most shocking.

As you know, one of the principles of the Broadcasting Standards Authority Pay-TV code is that children be protected from content that may harm or disturb. And it specifically states that “Content classified M or above, especially that containing sexual or violent material, should not screen adjacent to content aimed at children”.

I believe that the definition of content should include programme promos and that whoever is responsible for scheduling promos need to think carefully about the likely audience of the programme the promo breaks are in. In this case, the targeted audience was children.

I await your response with interest.

 

I'll let you know what repsonse I get.

Entropy

This week is inorganic rubbish collection week in our neighbourhood. A week when we temporarily transform into a developing world slum. Who knows what tourists think, but I imagine it is something along the lines of “I thought this was supposed to be a scenic paradise” and “Lonely Planet never told me it was like this”.

What I find fascinating is that it happens every two years (and most of the people in our street have been living here for many more years than that), yet each time outside every house there appears a pile of mouldering, rotting, utter junk. Stuff that surely took longer than two years to get into such a state, so why wasn’t it thrown out for the LAST collection?

Most common this time around, in order of popularity, are:

-          old suitcases

-          ancient beige desktop PCs

-          office chairs

-          old carpet

-          ancient mattresses

All weekend a fleet of vans and trucks circle the neighbourhood like vultures, coming up our street every five minutes to check what has been put out since their last circuit. “I put out one of those dehumidifiers and it lasted 30 seconds” said Bernard when I came back from walking the dog. I didn’t share his excitement – it was in perfect working order and I was planning to sell it on TradeMe.

 

Actually Bernard is hating this weekend. He hates it with (to coin a phrase) a dark hatey hatiness that is scary to see. I must tread carefully or I may find myself on the verge wrapped in an old carpet myself. And the neighbours will all be shaking their heads and saying “well, she would keep telling him there was more in the basement to be moved”.

Daughter-One and I took a stroll around the nearby streets and had a look at what was on offer (although we always backed off when one of the vans pulled up – those guys look scary. I can imagine them thowing punches in a fight over who was first to grab a piece of junk). She had a great time dating all the computers. Then we saw what looked like a rabbit hutch – but when we peered inside it we saw a barbie doll kneeling inside a smaller cage of chicken wire, reaching out towards some crushed up pills on the floor just outisde her reach. Made a mental note to walk quickly past THAT house in the future.

And whoever lives in THIS house has a very strange taste in shoes:

 

And perhaps an issue with their height ...

We talked about the theory of entropy – that says nature tends from order to disorder and decay in any system. Which explains why this house always ends up in chaos. And why even the poshest houses obviously have sheds, basements and spare rooms full of mouldering junk. Strange to think all those battered suitcases were one day brought home brand new in anticipation of an exciting trip, and those shattered computers were once the latest model saved up for. “Entropy will get us all in the end” said Daughter-One. Gee, thanks dear.

 

Along with the shifting of junk, I managed to get some designing and scrapping done. Here's what's new in the store at Designer Digitals this weekend:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here are the layouts I somehow managed to scrap this week! (If you are interested in credits, you can find them in my gallery)

 

 

 

 

 

How do you know you are having a really boring week?

When you come to write your blog and you realise that the most exciting thing that happened to you all week was cooking a poached egg while wearing your favourite fleecy dressing gown, lifting the egg out of the saucepan and accidentally letting it slip then looking all over the kitchen floor for it  .... only to realise it had landed neatly in the pocket of your dressing gown.

On that note, here's this week's new products and layouts (all atDesigner Digitals):

 

 

 

 

 

 

That last one was done last ngiht (while fending off with one arm Daughter-one who was trying to upload from a CD to her i-pod on my computer). I really wanted to scrap but was short of time, so I grabbed one of my templates and flipped it:

Last Sunday we took Daughter-Two to the Clip and Climb rock climbing facility on Dominion Road. While she went in with Bernard to register and be strapped up with a harness, I wandered down the road with the camera (as usual, you can click on the photos to see a larger version):

 

 

 

 

 

Clip and Climb was absolutely packed. Jammed into a confined space with no natural light and scores of over-excited chattering kids I am not exactly in my comfort zone.

Daughter-Two, as well, was getting anxious and hovering on the verge of "losing it". She was very patient waiting her turn to go on the vertical slide (where they winch the helmeted children up then let them "drop"). But she started itching and scratching, which was an interesting confirmation of what I suspected - that it is often stress-provoked (in that she probably releases histamine when stressed and she is overly sensitive to histamine).

Anyway, she finally got her turn - but did not make it to five metres as she planned. Instead she called out "stop! Stop!" at four metres. When she got off she was dreadfully upset because she had not done as she planned. She was sobbing about this, as the father behind us commented to his friend "how cute and adorable it was". Cute? Adorable? Not in my book. So I told her to calm down and agreed she could have another go.

This time she told the operator she definitely wanted to go to five metres and came up with the great idea of singing as she was cranked up. So up she went, with a look of abject terror on her face bravely but shakily singing "Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the pooh, cuddly little snuggly old bear.."

I'm sure everyone watching thought "that poor child, she obviously doesn't want to do it". But she NEEDED to do it and she did. She got all the way to five metres, then came flying down - and was absolutely glowing afterwards. "I was determined" she said. "It's great to be determined".

 

 

 

 

Then yesterday she went to her friend Lily's birthday party at the Tri-Star gym in Mt Roskill. She didn't stop bouncing or smiling the whole time. (What I love about the photos is that in nearly all of them her feet are off the ground, even when she is not actually ON the trampoline)

 

 

 

So it's been an active week for her - but a very unproductive one for me (what with helping Daughter-One swot, spending a day with her when she wasn't up to school, dyeing her hair purple - don't ask - plus doing TVNZ work, and all the usual cooking, cleaning and despairing of the state of this place). The despairing is surprisingly time-consuming but doesn't resut in much in the way of material improvements.

Ah well, I did get SOME designing and scrapping done (You can find all these at Designer Digitals):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And look at this gorgeous page by Merr of her precious grandson Cade (using the new My Windows template):

Single mother Saturday

It's been a bit of a long week. But Daughter-One has sat her first big exam (and came out smiling) and I managed to get some work done. But I can't relax even though it is the weekend as I am still holding the fort on my own as I have been all week.

So far my Saturday has gone something like this:

6.45am  Woken by Daughter-Two climbing into bed with me clutching her beloved and very large science encyclopaedia. Have a long conversation about electrolysis and viscosity. Viscosity is a big favorite. We have a round of "which is the most viscous?" (won by toothpaste as usual).

Then we move onto the relativity of time, and how it moves faster when you are having fun. Daughter-Two says "hmm, so to make the two hour trip to Cambridge to visit the Nanas go faster I need to do something I really enjoy. Let me think..." Then she gets a gleam in her eye and says "I know - I'll annoy Daughter-One" and laughs uproariously at her own joke.

7.45am Suddenly realise that all this talking has made me late and I have to get her to her Saturday morning drama class. Jump up and make her breakfast, let out the dog and throw some food at him, throw clothes at Daughter-Two and tell her to get dressed, chuck the festering pile of damp towels from the bathroom floor into the washing machine, eat some food, check my emails, shower and get dressed. Make Daughter-One coffee and toast and wake her up as otherwise there is no way she will emerge from the cocoon of her bed until I get back mid-morning.

9.15 am Start walking with Daughter-Two to school for drama class. Something is nagging me about the way she looks and she seems to be walking a bit funny. Suddenly realise she has put on her jeans the wrong way round making her look as if her bum is in front. The sun has come out and it's a quiet street so I say "quick, take off her crocs and pull down the jeans and we'll put them on the right way". She starts shrieking about people seeing her undies (a new and positive age-appropriate development I think to myself, ticking off a mental checklist).

I'm on my knees just pulling up the jeans when she calls out in my ear "Hypo Steve!"

Who's Steve and why is my daughter warning him about his blood sugar?  I stand up and am nearly knocked over by a postman on a bike laughing his way down the footpath. Realise Daughter-Two had actually  been calling "Hi Postie!"

Cross road to school but Daughter-Two suddenly stops dead in the middle of the road and shrieks "oh no!! Look!!" in tones of great horror. Cars that had assumed we would be safely on the footpath before they got close screech to a halt and I say "what?? what?".

Daughter-Two points to a flattened praying mantis on the tarmac.

Empathy for all living creatures (even the previously feared ants) has also recently kicked in (another tick on the mental checklist) but clearly needs some fine-tuning.

10.30 Leave drama class after spending an hour sitting in cold outside reading newspaper. Walk home and spend next hour cleaning kitchen, unstacking dishwasher and hanging out washing while fending off requests from both daughters (can I have raisins, can I have some more paper, can I write a story on your computer, can I have some cheese on toast and can you make it PLEEEESE, can my friend on her cellphone in the US only for ten minutes PLEESE..)

11.30 finally sit down at computer to meet a deadline. Tell Daughter-Two she will have to find something to amuse herself with. "I know" she says "I'll illustrate the story I wrote". Phew, I think. But she is still hovering. "You'll have to print it out for me" she says. Well, that sounds easy enough. Open Word, click print ... and up it comes with "out of ink". Hunt around for replacement ink cartridge, hint for scissors to open sealed ink cartridge, insert in printer.

12.00 Finally get some work done.

12.30 Time to cook lunch for Daughter-Two.

And why I am on my own again? Bernard was off in Wellington covering Reserve Bank announcements and had to stay on for the Qantas Media Awards last night where he won the award for best business website.

Congratulations honey, that is an amazing achievement.

Now get back here so you can put out the rubbish and walk the dog.

New in store this weekend

New this week at Designer Digitals: